Shambala Blog

Are Relationships Overrated?

couple relationship

From where it all started.

Relationship goes beyond knowing someone. It transcends to creating a deeper connection with this specific person. This is how a relationship starts. You know many people in different places but there is only a handful of them whom you have a relationship with and a couple more whom you want to start a relationship with.

Come to think of it, what is the reason you want a relationship in the first place?

Do you enjoy the one you are in already or do you regret being in it?

There is already an image in your mind of what an ideal relationship should look like and somehow you want to live up to these expectations. There is also some sort of marking scheme that you have developed upon which you will judge your partner. This is quite unfair because you already have a pre-determined decision about them. They have zero chances of proving themselves worthy of a relationship with you if they do not meet your standards. This is quite unfortunate!

Despite relationships being the number one cause of abuse between partners, gender-based violence, and other social ills, people still want to be in them. Those in abusive relationships do not want to quit and those not in any somehow want to have someone they can call ‘mine’.

Reasons for relationships.

  1.  The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO).

This is a worrying trend. Since everyone is in a relationship, why not me? The fear of missing out is a leading reason why people are stuck in non-performing relationships. It is the nature of people to always want to identify with something they believe in. It somehow brings a sense of identity and belonging. FOMO is a wrong motive for being in a relationship.

How can you know that this is what drove you into the relationship that you are in? For one, you have absolutely no reason to be with this person. You do not relate and neither do you connect.

It is a case of convenience. Because this relationship is unfounded, it will one day collapse and reality will check in. It could be a little too late to make any meaningful decision because the damage will already have been done.

  1.  The Fear of the Unknown.

Fear is responsible for many things – even making people put up with below the bare minimum treatment in relationships. Relationships are not supposed to be tolerated but should be enjoyed by both partners.

However, many people fear being alone. They fear experiencing loneliness because they have never been in such a situation.

Be brave enough to leave unfruitful relationships. Why should you put up with something that leaves you vulnerable and wasted? The unknown is an uncontrollable variable because nobody has the means to mitigate it. This should empower you not to settle for anything less than you deserve because you believe in yourself.

  1.  In the name of ‘selflessness’.

Selflessness? What selflessness?

You cannot love other people more than the threshold you have put for yourself. It is human nature to be selfish for what goes out must first be full within. Drawing the example of the universe that sustains all our needs, you can only give what you have – remember you are part of the universe.

Sometimes people stay in a relationship that they think is perfect because they think it is an act of selflessness. True love starts from within. I dare say that what you love other people is the surplus of the love you have for yourself. It gets worse when you have a deficit in self-love.

The ultimate gauge of self-love is the ability to enjoy your own company. Feel alive within and thereafter you can spread this love to somebody else. Relationships never replace the ‘I’ identity.

  1.  Social media influence.

The power of social media grows each day. It is amazing the things one can do online without physical interaction. You can trade, engage, and interact with your clients, family, and friends online.

Do you know what they say about absolute power? Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Social media influence could drive you into a relationship you never wanted in the first place. It is not ‘cool’ to do things because your favorite celebrity does. What is okay to them is not necessarily okay with you, and there is no problem with that.

Sometimes the relationships that celebrities have is not even real. It could be chasing clout and yet you fall prey to such antics. It is okay to celebrate your lover online but it should not be the reason you are with them.

The original plan of the universe that your character matters the most can never be replaced by fame and money through social media.

  1.  The sense of being incomplete.

Are you asking yourself a question whose answer the universe has spelled clearly? Are you incomplete? Yes, you are. The sense of being complete or not was determined a long time ago when males and females were brought together.

But there is a catch here. A relationship is not the ultimate goal. It is good to be in a healthy one. It will add to your blessings and increase your chances of success. Two heads are better than one, right?

Be at peace with the universe and understand her purpose for you. Thereafter, you will be better placed to decide the right person to connect with – both physically and spiritually.

The final verdict.

The truth is that there is some form of spirituality attached to relationships. When you have your spirituality right then the manifestation should not be a problem. It will be wrong to put the cart before the horse (relationships before spirituality).

Are relationships overrated? Well, they are not. They continue to form an important part of what defines us. There is just a little secret you have to unearth first – include spirituality in your relationships. It will lead you to forming everlasting relationships with the right people.

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