Shambala Blog

Cultivating the Habit of Forgiveness

Of habits, behavior, and character, the universe is the master of them all.

He can help us to develop any habit we would like. The only condition to fulfill is that you have to be intentional. Forgiveness can become a lifestyle if you choose to. But before it becomes automatic, you have to make it a habit. A habit is an activity that you do regularly and routinely without second thoughts until it forms a part of you. Cultivating the habit of forgiveness is very easy especially if you accept guidance from the universe.

First things first, are you interested in developing this noble habit? The universe searches your heart and mind to determine your true intentions. It helps only genuine people who want to see their efforts eventually pay off. Forgiveness means zero pursuits for revenge. You know what they say about revenge – an eye for an eye will leave the world with a lot of blind people. To avoid this extreme, make forgiveness your habit, behavior, character, and eventually a lifestyle. This is how you can do it:

  1.     Every time is the right time to forgive.

Do not look for the right time to forgive someone. Forgive instantly. The universe has no appointed time for you to forgive. Every time is the right time to do the right thing. It has happened to a few people I know. They had postponed granting forgiveness to someone until a certain time hoping that they will have “learned” their lesson. Regrettably, they were no more at that future time. Unfortunately, they did not receive forgiveness on time.

Practicing forgiveness anytime is best practice because you give the other person their freedom immediately. The promise of forgiving someone at a future time is like promising to free a bird from its cage at a future time. The bird will be in anticipation of its freedom but it may get sick or die before it is released. When you decide to free the bird, do so immediately. The poor bird deserves its freedom.

  1.     Understand that everyone qualifies for forgiveness.

Everyone deserves forgiveness no matter the gravity of their offense. It is not in your place to judge how big their sin is. That is the responsibility of the universe. Forgive everyone and make peace with them without discrimination. Look at the generosity of nature! The rain falls on the whole land without discrimination. The sun shines on the whole land too without favoritism. More critically, nature gives everyone free air to breathe. Even those you think do not deserve it enjoy nature’s grace. Similarly, do not withhold forgiveness from anyone. Forgive them and forgive yourself too where you went wrong. This will instill the habit of forgiveness in your life because you consider everyone who wronged you to be deserving of it.

  1.     Forgive even when there is no remorse.

Everyone feels remorse for their mistakes. You are responsible for yours and so is every other person responsible for theirs. The universe sends the spirit of conviction to all wrongdoers, especially if you have a good relationship with it. Do not tie your forgiveness to remorse. Forgive whether or not the one in the wrong is sorry about it. They may or may not apologize to you but forgive them regardless. There is only one judge – the universe. He will judge them for their wrongs but you would have forgiven them to give you closure and move on. When you have it in mind that you should not wait for an apology before you forgive, forgiveness becomes an automatic habit.

  1.     Forgive even when you are not asked to.

You practice forgiveness not because you are asked to or because someone is watching but because it is the right thing to do. Developing any habit requires practice and it is no different when it comes to forgiveness. Sometimes the wrongdoer may not repent and there could be no one else to ask you to forgive him. Take it upon yourself to do the right thing by forgiving him and start a new chapter. Look at nature. Nobody plans its seasons but winter, spring, autumn, and summer never fail to come around every year. Again, nobody tells the sun to rise every morning but it does so without fail. All these acts of nature are automatic and happen to everyone without minding your morality or relationship with nature. Forgiveness can become your habit just as the universe has his.

  1.     Have friends who forgive.

You need the right social support if you are developing a new habit and want it to stick. It is easy to give up on the way without supportive friends. They are likely to influence you to do their habits. In addition, they may persuade you to stop forgiveness altogether. This is the reason why your friends should be forgiving people too. The world has a lot of good people with whom you can be friends. They will support you on your road to developing the habit of forgiveness.

friends hugging each other

Consider such friends as nature’s gift to you. The universe has already put a support system for you in place; embrace it.

  1.     Have a positive attitude toward forgiveness.

A positive mindset towards forgiving is important especially if you are working towards developing this habit. Appreciate forgiveness more and consider it as part of your personality; not something being imposed on you. You will consciously improve on how you forgive and let go of the hurt. It is human nature to willingly put more effort into doing what you love. When your mind is set to embrace forgiveness, it eventually becomes a habit and gradually a lifestyle. The universe wants you to embrace this lifestyle.

The universe wants us to forgive and forget everything that hurt us. This is a new beginning. When you do something continuously and effortlessly, it eventually becomes your habit. Observing these simple practices will make forgiveness a habit that you will be proud of. 

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