Shambala Blog


How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

What exactly is People Pleasing? Is it going out of your way to help someone? Is it being kind and respectful to people? No. It only qualifies as people-pleasing when you put other people’s needs before yours. When you put yourself down so that others can rise up.

What happens when you become a people pleaser?

You begin compromising your values to please people. Let’s take this example, you’re at a hangout with your friend group and everyone is taking shots. You know very well that you don’t take alcohol but you stay quiet and decide to take the shot anyway. You ended up compromising the values that had probably taken you years of cultivation for friends whose last name you probably don’t know.

People-pleasing also makes you vulnerable to being misused and being a pushover. If people keep crossing your boundaries and you do nothing about it, they’ll keep pushing it further and further until the boundaries are non-existent. An idea about you also forms in their minds that you are nothing but a doormat.

In the worst-case scenario, being a people pleaser may lead you into debt. Let me elaborate. Say a friend calls you up and asks for some money stating that it is an emergency. At the back of your mind, you know this friend has a bad history of not returning borrowed money. They try to plead with you and cave in and go digging the required money from your savings.

Chances are, the friend will keep coming back, and slowly but surely you will stagnate your financial growth and pave your way to poverty.

Now that we’ve pointed out the implications of being a people pleaser, how do we change this for the better?

How to Use Manifestation to Stop being a People Pleaser.

Identify the reason you’re constantly seeking approval.

There won’t be a sufficient enough solution unless we grab the bull by its horns and tackle the problem. If we pull out the bandage, will we find a wound inflicted on you when you were younger that made you believe that you were not enough?

Were you constantly seeking your parents’ approval but never seemed to get it? Did you get bullied as a child or as a young teen for being different from your peers? Are you scared that people will leave you if you don’t conform to their needs?

Write it down on paper and Meditate.

Grab a pen and paper and write down at least three reasons why you’re a people pleaser and what you think turned you into one.

After that, meditate and reflect on the contents of the paper.

Albert Einstein said,
“Imagination is everything, it is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

So remember that there is no habit too strong to break and that anything you can visualize you can make a reality.

Set up regimes that will help you get rid of this bad habit

After finding out the reason for your people-pleasing lifestyle and habit, the next step is to actively set up measures and ways of curbing this. These are some of the regimes you can use.

Living by the 3 F’s

If someone is not Feeding you, Financing you, or F***ing you, you don’t need to pay them any mind. This strategy in itself has saved me countless headaches and overthinking episodes.

One can never be fully immune to the opinions of others but living by these three F’s ensures you only pay attention to the opinions of those who matter.

There is a famous quote that says, the croaking of frogs doesn’t prevent cows from drinking water. Therefore let the other people’s judgments and opinions fly past you.

Filtering out the advice that comes in.

Now we have identified the 3 F’s we can move on with this next point.

Realize that people, even within the 3 F’s, will try and tell you what your life should look like and what to do with it. Learn to sieve the bad that may bring you down and be left with good advice and constructive criticism.

A bitter pill to swallow is, not everyone you hold dear wants you to succeed. Not all your family members and friends wish you the best. Keep your eyes and ears open in order to identify the advice that is good for you versus the one that will ensure you never surpass them.

Build up your self-esteem

This might just be the most important factor. With high self-esteem, you don’t need people to approve of you. They don’t need to approve of the clothes you wear, the kind of job you do, where you choose to live, or who you choose as a spouse.

This frees you from their suffocating grip that seeks to squeeze the joy out of your life.

Not taking everything personally.

This is something that I had to learn. I could easily be offended by even the slightest things and jokes.

I remember the exact moment I had an epiphany. I had just got a compliment from a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She looked admiringly at me and said I looked nice. This was right after another friend of mine had given me a disapproving glare regarding my quarantine weight gain. On my way home, I thought back and realized the latter girl had actually gained even more than I did during quarantine. Then it hit me, she was projecting her insecurities on me.

I realized that not everything is black and white and people are constantly projecting their insecurities on others just so they could feel better about themselves. So don’t take anything personally and remember it’s not you but them.

Learning to say No.

A lot of us have a hard time saying no. It doesn’t mean that you are selfish or that you don’t care about the other person. Saying no is a way of establishing healthy boundaries and ensuring that they aren’t crossed.

Here are various ways of saying no:

No, I can’t make it, I’m spending some time with my kids/spouse.
Can we have a raincheck?
I’ll come another time.
No thank you but have a great time
No, I need “me time.”

Believe in the manifestation.

None of this will work unless you believe. Unless you affirm your heart that you are indeed capable of receiving love and giving it sans manipulation. Until you understand that who you are is enough and turning people down is not a crime.

Thad Brown, the Chief executive officer of Harris Blitzer Sports & Entertainment, tweeted this earlier this month.

“Josh said early in his career, he’d be more a people pleaser with the game plan. If the coach wanted it, he’d find a way to make it work. Now: “If I don’t love it, we’re not running it.”

This is an example showing that when you stop being a people pleaser, you take back the power you had freely given to them. Power over your decisions, your peace of mind, and even your finances.

In the end, you’ll lose friends and people close to you but just be glad they’re gone. They only wanted to use you and are shocked that you won’t let them do that anymore. But as a door closes, another opens. You’ll find people who see your value and worth. Take back the power today and use manifesting to get rid of the people-pleasing nature. Best of luck!

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How to use Manifestation to be more present in everything you do

Most if not all of us start our day by planning for it. We are aware of the tasks that are needed to be done and we go ahead to allocate time to them. The most important tasks get high priority and are given more time than the least important.

Let’s take a look at John and how he begins his day. John wakes up at 6am and heads into the shower. As he freshens up, he actively plans his day in his mind. He needs to be at the office by 9am, submit a work proposal by 1pm which he’s to finish before the lunch date with his wife at noon. In the afternoon he has more work till 5pm when he gets off work.

John is very punctual, he settles in the office ten minutes to 9 and pulls out the files he is to work on. About five minute in, he remembered that he hadn’t checked his email yet. There is a new monitor he ordered and he can’t wait for it to arrive. He checks, sees that it will arrive in the afternoon, smiles and goes back to work. 

Just when he was getting into the groove, his phone buzzed up. It’s Eli, his best friend. John picks it up from the desk and opens the message, it’s a meme. 

They say that laughter is medicine for the soul, he’s starting his day on a good high right? He decides to send one of his own and then excuses himself. It’s now half past 9 O’clock. 

‘There’s still time! Even for an espresso,’ he convinces himself.

One thing leads to another and the coffee is ready in 15 minutes, it’s now 9:45. John settles down, puts his phone away and gets to work. By the time he’s looking up, it’s half past 11, he’s only halfway through.

It’s too late to rain check with his wife, so he decides to carry his files with him to the restaurant.

What will happen when his wife arrives and he keeps checking his files throughout lunch? Will she feel neglected? Unimportant? Disappointed. Yes, yes and yes.

For the longest time possible I used to be like John. Getting easily distracted, never quite finishing the things I was to on time and having them spill over to time I had allocated to myself and my loved ones. 

What resulted was that whenever I was with them, I kept thinking about that one task I was to do and my eyes kept looking at the clock. I ended up losing a few friends who thought I saw them as unimportant as I was never truly present.

That was until I stumbled upon a Mindvalley MasterClass on Focus by Nir Eya.  A program that seeks to help those who struggle with procrastination and distractions that lead to one not being fully present.

So,what exactly does it mean to not be ‘fully present?’ 

Being easily distracted as you do a task resulting in being inefficient and using up more time. It also could be that your mind wanders whenever you’re with a loved one and they can tell you’re not paying attention to them.

Let’s dive in deeper and find out how we can use manifestation to be fully present and curb all these. 

How to use manifestation to become fully present. 

  1. Acknowledge that you get distracted and then master your internal triggers.

The first step is to accept it. Accept that you do get distracted and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. There are a lot of things that call for our attention on a daily basis. In fact a recent study revealed that 83% of Americans feel overwhelmed by all these distractions.

The next step is to identify the internal triggers that cause us to lose focus. In each awake moment, our brains are busy processing information and thoughts. Internal triggers come to us as ulterior thoughts and feelings. E.g John’s sudden urge to get coffee right in the middle of writing a proposal, zoning out and thinking about other things etc.

Once you are able to identify them, you become aware of when they occur and your mind automatically redirects your thoughts away from them and back to what you were doing.


  1. Identify the external triggers

External triggers are things in our direct environment that call for our attention. This may be your social media notifications, loud music or even noise. Sometimes your loved ones can serve as a distraction. Say you’re working from home and a friend pops up unannounced. Chances are you’ll be forced to get off work to keep them company.

How can you prevent this from occurring again? By setting clear boundaries with the people around you. When you’re working they should not disturb you unless it’s a life and death situation.

For noise distractions, you could find someplace quiet to work and for social media, you could turn off all the notifications right before you start working.

  1. Prevent distraction with pacts.

A pact can be termed as an agreement. For this case the agreement is between yourself. You promise to spend X amount of time doing task A without getting distracted. When you succeed, you reward yourself.

This is not just for work but can also be used in your personal time. Set time aside for some cozy moments with your wife and organize play dates with your children. Be actively present by being aware of your surroundings, and focusing on the ones you’re with for the time you are together. Afterwards you could reward yourself with a bar of chocolate or a luxurious long bath.

  1. Making time for tractions

Traction refers to the time you plan to waste. The wheels in your brain are probably turning asking Huh, aren’t we supposed to not waste time? But let’s be honest, we can’t spend all 24 hours of the day being productive. We need regular breaks to re-energise and come back stronger. 

Tractions can include an afternoon nap, bingeing a netflix series or gaming with friends. You just have to intentionally plan for it. 

As Libran John Lennon noted,

“Time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted time.”

Last but not least, set aside some time to meditate. You could do this while sitted the floor or even as you take a walk. 

Benefits of being fully present.

  • You are able to learn more. Being more present enables you to absorb more information as your mind is 100% focused on the task at hand.
  • Improved Efficiency. You’ll be able to finish work quickly while doing it well. Therefore you have extra time for traction and to enjoy the good things in life. You know what they say, all work and no play makes Jane a dull girl. 
  • Reduces Anxiety. This occurs when you are able to avoid unnecessary pressures and anxieties of trying to meet deadlines. You will have peace of mind knowing that you have finished the tasks with even less time than your colleagues. 
  • Improves your relationships. It’s no secret that everyone has the desire to be heard. We all want to feel that we matter and by giving someone your 100% attention, you bring out this desire in them. They in turn feel closer to you and trust you more. This improves the quality of your relationship with them.

Happy manifesting!

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The Magical Power Of Manifestation Crystals

Crystals are growing favorites among people struggling with anxiety or stress

Ever since the pandemic rocked our world, more people turn to them to attract calmness in their lives.

And for good reasons. While they may look like ordinary stones, they’re actually bundles of energy packed inside beautifully shaped gems.

So don’t let their appearance fool you. The right one can take your manifestation power to the next level.

That’s why we’re unpacking the powerful, mystical secrets behind them. So you can find the right match for you or your situation.

Let’s jump right in

What Are Manifestation Crystals?

If you’re looking for a dash of inspiration to take you from stress to strength, these magical rocks got your back.

They’re loaded with high vibrational energy to shield you from negativity. And get your desires to manifest into reality.

You may not know this, but they’ve been used as healing agents for millions of years. Because of this, they’re known today as “wisdom keepers”

All the knowledge from history is stored in the fine lines of each crystal. They’re colour, shape, and texture represents a specific desire or goal.

In a moment you’ll see the results various crystals bring to your manifestation table.

But first, let’s cover how to take care of your crystals for maximum effect.

How To Take Care Of Your Crystals.

You’re finally convinced on crystals. So you order a bunch of beautiful, powerful ones online.

You can’t wait to get started. As soon as they arrive, you pull them out and start manifesting.

Things went well for a few days. You see a few of your desires popping up here and there. So your excitement shoots through the roof.

But that’s when you notice a steady, fast decline in your crystals’ performance. Because now they’re no longer as effective.

So what happened? Well, like your car, crystals should be taken care of.

They lose their mystical abilities once you fail to treat them right. Here are few ways you can do that:

Show Respect

This involves keeping it safe, away from physical harm. You can also take things a step further and create a special box for your crystals.

Don’t bring your crystals around negative people or energy. Because it can absorb it and lose its value.

Your crystals deserve respect because they’re powerful. Treat them like you would with gold. Because having them in your possession is a ticket to the finer things of life.

Another way to show respect is simply expressing your gratitude to your crystals each morning. A little “Thank you” can go a long way.

Cleanse your crystal.

Cleansing is vital to your crystal’s success.

We tend to pick up bad energy in our day the same way our shoes pick up dust.

Whether that’s from toxic neighbors, draining situations or our own thoughts.

This energy reduces your crystal’s manifestation power. Some great ways to cleanse your crystal include dipping inside water or allowing water to run over it. This will remove any negative stuff lurking inside it.

You can decide to keep it under a moonlight too. The moon is a very powerful cleanser. And has been used for centuries as a signification of rebirth. Which means it’s perfect your crystals a fresh start

Clearing your crystal.

Think of this part as programming. You know how your phone comes with a software?

It’s similar to how crystals function. Some carry pre-existing intentions either from previous owners or when you last used them.

You’ll need to input new desires or intentions depending on what you want.

For example, let’s say you wanted a new car 2 months ago. And you happened to use a crystal to manifest it.

If you’ve got new intentions to get a house, you’ll need to clear the crystal.

To clear your crystal, simply carry the intention in your mind as you cleanse them using examples from the previous section.

For instance, while you’re using water to cleanse a crystal, hold your new intentions in your mind.

How To Work With Your Crystals.

Now that you’re set, it’s time to pull out the mystical powers of your crystal.

There are two main ways to do this. Pick the one that most appeals to you

The first way is to install an intention or desire inside a crystal. The second one is to pick a crystal with a specific result attached to it.

I’ll go over both ways in detail so you can wrap your head around it.

To be clear, these are the two ways crystals can benefit you:

Install your intention inside them

Pick a crystal with a pre-existing desire

Now let’s dive into both ways.

-Install Your Intentions Inside A Crystal.

Some crystals like clear quartz are known as all-purpose. And make a great fit for concentrating your intentions inside a crystal.

Here’s a step-by-step process to do this:

Step 1: Find A Quiet Space

You probably know manifesting doesn’t happen in chaos.

The last thing you want is your vibration getting interrupted with distractions. So carve out a serene environment where your mind can relax.

Step 2: Pick A Result You Want

This is where you zone in on what desires you want to manifest.

Whether it’s to remove negative energy, feel more confident or feel more at peace with yourself.

Step 3: Cleanse And Clear Your Crystal

You don’t want to take any chances that’ll ruin your manifestation. So a good idea is to clean your crystals by soaking them in water. Or you can place them under the moonlight.

Step 4: Get to know Your Crystal

Some people call this dating your crystal. Because it’s like getting to know someone, except it’s a crystal.

You can start by holding it firmly in your hand. Feel the curves or lines on your crystal.

The part is about connecting and becoming one with your crystal

Step 5: Visualize your dreams

You probably know that no manifestation ritual is complete without visualization.

Imagine yourself having your desires in the presence. Feel what it’s like to be more confident, be a car owner or snag a new house.

Allow the feelings to go round your body and into your crystal.

Step 6: Get your thoughts into your crystal

I call this step the “flow stage”

This is where you allow the feelings you get from visualizing to flow into your crystal.

It’s like supercharging your crystal with some of the good stuff so it knows what to act on.

-Using Crystals For Their Specific Purpose

This is the second way to take advantage of a crystal’s mystical powers.

Most crystals come pre-installed with manifestation gifts. And by using each one for its intended goal, you can get the results.

Here are just a few desires you can get along with the appropriate crystals.

– Crystals For Love.

Matters of the heart are important to a wide range of people.

Whether that’s in the form of a companion or a lover. If you’re looking for a partner to stick with you through thick and thin, here’s a bunch of crystals you can try.

1) Rose Quartz

This is known as the heart crystal. Because it helps in matters involving love and connection between two people.

2) Pink tourmaline

This is a double-combo crystal for relieving stress and attracting love.

While it’s not as powerful in manifesting love like the rose quartz, it’s still a great choice if you’re a lover at heart.

Crystals For Abundance & Prosperity

Sometimes you just want to have that midas touch.

You know what I mean, right? Touching things and watching them into gold.

If your goal is to attract abundance, wealth, prosperity, then this is the section you’d want to pitch your tent.

1) Citrine

One of the oldest existing crystals and true money bringer.

It’s a go-to choice for people looking to experience untold levels of abundance.

2) Pyrite.

If the green stuff was a crystal, this would be it.

Pyrite is the ultimate money crystal for financially struggling or ambitious manifestors.

It’s the gateway to wealth. And your trusted sidekick to raising your income level.

Crystals For clarity & cleansing.

We’re lumping these two together because cleansing helps achieve clarity.

And a clear mind is important to getting rid of negative energy.

1) Hematite stone

This is your go-to choice for a razor sharp focus.

If you’ve got a lot on your mind, and struggle to stay disciplined – you’ll need to snag one of these crystals.

2) Selenite

Perfect crystal for cleansing not only your home but other crystals too.

Remember the section on cleansing your crystals before using them?

This is one of the few ones that can help you do just that

Crystals For Raising Your Vibration.

Our energy levels make a huge impact on how well we can manifest.

Limiting beliefs plus a lack of abundance are perhaps the biggest causes of manifestation hiccups.

But that won’t be the case when you’ve got these crystals handy

1) Clear Quartz

You can say we saved the best for last because this is a multi-purpose crystal.

It’s known as the master healer because it covers a wide range of functions. From self-healing, to amplifying your energy and abundance.

2) Black Obsidian

Finding it hard to let go of the past? Struggle with limiting beliefs about your past or abilities?

Surrender yourself to the mystical powers of this gorgeous gem stone.

Once you start using it, you’ll notice an increase in your confidence.

How To Make Use Of Crystals.

Creativity is always something we live for here.

That’s why this is dedicated to some cool ways to make sure you’re getting the most from your crystals.

You don’t have to try all of them. But we’re confident you’ll find a few that speak to you.

Use them as Jewelries

From necklaces to earrings, crystals make the perfect stones for your jewellery.

Carrying them serves as a constant reminder for what you want. And it’s just a fun way to fill your day with positivity.

Soak some in your perfumes.

I know, I know. Before you go all “what?!” hear me out

Smelling nice all day is good. Feeling good all day is great too.

Imagine having all that positive energy stuck on you. All because you decided to get smart with your crystals and put inside your perfume.

Now they’re doing all the work for you. Attracting all your blessings 24/7.

Wrapping It Up

I hope we’ve made a wonderful case for crystals.

They’re truly a joy to have around the house. Their beauty and mystical powers can deliver a one-two manifestation punch – knocking negative energy out of your life.

On that note, you can go ahead and pick the best crystal for yourself.

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The Law Of Attraction Explained With Fun Images

Most articles out there take the boring science-like route when it comes to explaining the law of attraction.

Not that science isn’t important, it is. And you’ll get to see a few in this article. But we felt it’d be a great idea to lean into the fun side and rely on images.

In simple terms, the law of attraction is about using the power of thoughts to attract your desires or results from the universe.

As Bob Proctor once said “If you can think about it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand”

There are various laws you’ll need to be aware of in order for you to place your desires firmly within your hands.

So let’s take a look.

Manifesting With The Law Of Attraction

Some  people think certain things are unachievable with the law of attraction.

Well, we can tell you that’s not true. As you can see from the picture, you can command the universe to send a bunch of cool stuff your way.

And the best part? You simply rely on your thoughts to do the hard work for you.

Money, cars, new relationships, and even houses are the benefits you get when you do the law of attraction correctly.

You don’t have to be super smart to make this work either. 

Can you speak? Can you visualize? Can you obey the most simplest laws? And do you have desires deep inside your heart?

If you answered yes to all those questions then you’re a perfect fit for the law of attraction.

You might be wondering, when we say “laws” what do we mean?

Consider them as your guides to ensure your law of attraction journey is successful.

We’ll cover them in the next section below.

The Laws Within The Law Of Attraction

Laws are nothing more than guides. Follow them and you’d be led to your promise land. Disregard them and you’ll be left in the same situation you’re in.

Are you ready to get in touch with the laws?

Cool, let’s begin.

Law 1: Everything Is Vibration

At your core, you’re made up of atoms. Atoms that move rapidly, causing vibrations.

The universe detects high vibrations. Then rewards it with the desires they seek.

This law has been proven over and over again with quantum physics (this is the science part I told you about)

Physicists observed that all forms of matter are made up of atoms vibrating at various frequencies.

These vibrations play a huge role in how you interact with the universe. They’re like signals that the universe responds to when you’ve got some intentions to manifest.

Law 2: Like Attracts Like

Want to attract a car or a new house? Then you must become that person.

It’s no surprise we often attract people or things that seem most like us. Some people may want to believe that the people around just came out of nowhere. But this is far from the truth. Our world or environment is shaped by who we are.

That’s you’ve got to cultivate a present-tense habit. Meaning living life like you’re already the person you desire to be.

Law 3: Thoughts become Things.

Your ability to manifest things is baked into how well your thoughts are aligned with your intentions.

If you fill your mind with positive thoughts, you fill your life with positive things.

It’s how the universe gives you what you deserve.

How To Practice The Law Of Attraction

Now let’s get down to the nitty gritty. You know, the actual fun stuff that moves the needle.

Everything we’ve discussed will help you in some way. But this is where the rubber truly meets the road for attracting your desires.

Step 1: Create A Serene Environment.

Noise infects our energy and vibrations.

You want to be able to hear your thoughts and feel your emotions. All of which are basically impossible when distractions are pulling your focus from every corner.

So the first step is to find a quiet place  to unplug from daily distractions.

Step 2: Get clear on your intentions.

Lack of clarity is one of the biggest reasons people don’t get what they want.

Different thoughts or desires colliding with each other. Sometimes people aren’t sure of what they want. So they half-ass the entire process.

Bad idea for anyone looking to produce worthwhile results with manifestation.

Step 3: Visualize Your Desires

Time to seal the deal. This part is where you see yourself having everything you wished for.

Why do you have to do this? So you can feel and process the emotions. Emotions are your guiding light in the law of attraction. 

And visualizations are a great way to pull the right ones. You’re probably going to feel good seeing yourself with a new partner, right?

Well that feeling translates to a higher vibration – which is vital in the law of attraction

What Can The Law Of Attraction Get You?

Well, there’s a whole lot you stand to gain when you apply the law of attraction.

Don’t think your desires are too far-fetched. It might take some time to learn. But as you pull through, you’ll attract your desires faster.

Here are a few things you can expect from the law of attraction.

Manifest Love.

Most people, from your friends to family, long for a soul mate.

Someone they can share a burning desire with. The good news is that the law of attraction can help you achieve that.

Manifest wealth.

Money makes life easier. Whether that’s vacation with the family, better health care or tastier food.

Point is, we’re probably going to have life a little tougher if we run short on some of the green stuff. 

But not to worry though – the law of attraction can give your income significant leaps.



Manifest a new house

Sometimes we want a change of environment. Or an upgrade to our living conditions.

And this could simply mean getting a better house – with more space or at a convenient location.

The law of attraction is your trusted buddy to bring that desire into reality.

Law Of Attraction Exercises

You know how we keep our physical body healthy with exercises?

The same is true about your spiritual body too.  Our spiritual body runs on positive emotions and feelings.

All of which come from adopting specific exercises. 

Here are just a few to get you started.


Writing down your thoughts or goals is not only a great way to achieve progress, but to track it.

Sometimes, seeing how far we’ve come is a major boost to our confidence.

And gaining confidence is a great way to increase our vibrations.


The ancient art of peaceful thinking. Meditation has been long practice to get the mind healthy and refreshed.

You can also practice it under the soothing comfort of your favorite music or binaural beats.

Use Vision boards.

Vision boards are collages of pictures, images, texts or quotes that represent your goals.

The best vision boards are filled with dashes of creativity and inspiration.


Wrapping It up

So there you have it. 

The law of attraction could be the last thing you’ll try before your life turns around.

Sometimes the results are instant. Other times they take a while to unfold. 

But whatever the case, you’re bound to witness dramatic changes with what you’ve learned today.

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